為了給別人面子，你吃過的最糟糕的東西是什么？
What''s the worst thing you''ve ever eaten in order to be polite?
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正文翻譯
What's the worst thing you've ever eaten in order to be polite?
為了給別人面子，你吃過的最糟糕的東西是什么？
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My grandmother cooked up a half a dozen pies for a Thanksgiving or Christmas, so long ago I forget which. She sliced me off a little piece first and had me try it. It was AWFUL, but I ate it and thanked her. Later that night after dinner we were getting ready for dessert and grandma just started crying. She had baked all the pies with salt rather than sugar.
我的祖母在感恩節(jié)還是圣誕節(jié)那天給我們做了六七個派，過了太久了我已經(jīng)忘記是哪個節(jié)了。她先給我切了一小塊，讓我吃吃看。難吃的要命，但我還是吃了，并且對她說了謝謝。那天晚上吃完晚飯我們準(zhǔn)備吃甜點(diǎn)的時候，祖母突然開始哭了。她才發(fā)現(xiàn)她烤派的時候把鹽當(dāng)成糖了。
Ooo, this one stings. :(
唔——這聽起來太難受了。
I know, right? Looking back on it, it was obviously no huge deal. Just dessert. I think it’s so memorable to me because grandma felt like she’d ruined everything and I’m sure I felt partly responsible because I’d had some and didn’t say a thing. And, of course, everybody thought it was hilarious that I’d eaten a slice of it.
可不是嗎？現(xiàn)在看起來當(dāng)然不是什么大不了的事兒，只是甜點(diǎn)而已。但我覺得對我來說印象如此深刻的原因在于，祖母覺得她把一切都?xì)Я?，并且我也有一部分?zé)任，因?yàn)槲覈L了一點(diǎn)，但我什么都沒說。并且當(dāng)然，每個人都覺得我提前吃了一小塊很好笑。
It hurts my heart for Grandma, I can empathize with her sadness. I would beat myself up over it too.
我為你的祖母感到傷心，我能感受到她的悲傷。換成我我也要難受得不行。
I'm sure no pie was no big deal for you, but six pies is a lot of work and emotional investment for an old lady.
我確定就算吃不到派對你來說也沒什么大不了的，但六個派對于一個老太太來說是大量的勞動和感情的投入啊。
For sure. When you bake for others the reward is the enjoyment others get out of eating what you’ve made. All that time spent for nothing. So sad.
沒錯。當(dāng)你為別人烘焙的時候，你能得到的最好的獎勵就是別人吃你做的東西時候的快樂?；诉@么長的時間，什么都沒撈著。太傷心了。
Pumpkin pie but the person forgot to remove the wax paper after proofing the crust which caused the filling to not set correctly. So imaging eating pumpkin soup out of a paper bowl but also eating the bowl at the same time.
南瓜派，但做南瓜派的那個人忘了把蠟紙拿出去了，餡料沒能固定下來。想象一下從一個紙碗里吃南瓜湯，同時把那個碗也吃進(jìn)肚子里去。
My grandmother was amazing on thanksgiving. Most precious memories of a dinner. Delicious everything. Homemade bread, and pies.
我的祖母每到感恩節(jié)那天簡直是天神下凡。留給我了關(guān)于晚宴的最珍貴的記憶。什么都好吃。自家做的面包，還有派。
但除了那天以外她做的菜就像大蕭條一樣。沒有調(diào)味，就是吃的。
My dad grew up during the Depression and it has shaped his attitudes around food for his entire life. 75+ years later, he can’t stand to see food go to waste, and will find ways to recycle leftovers or use things of questionable freshness.
我父親在大蕭條期間長大，這改變了他對于食物的態(tài)度。75年之后的今天，他仍然見不得浪費(fèi)食物，并且總能想到回收剩飯剩菜的方法，或是把那些新鮮程度值得懷疑的東西拿去烹飪。
This is my MIL. She learned from her Depression era-raised parents to never waste food. Ever since she got a G-tube in her stomach, she has been sending me all the food in her house. The oldest canned food was from 2007. There were frozen loaves of bread with mold growing in them because she buys from the clearance aisles. The most disgusting was some wrapped up ground beef that smelled like death.
我岳母也是這樣。她從她大蕭條期間長大的父母那里學(xué)到了永遠(yuǎn)不能浪費(fèi)食物。自從她做了胃造口之后，她就把自己家的食物全都寄到我這邊了。最老的罐頭食品是2007年生產(chǎn)的。有凍得梆硬、上面長了霉的面包，因?yàn)樗菑馁u即將過期食品的過道買來的。最惡心的是塑料袋裝的牛肉碎，聞起來有股死亡的味道。
My grandmother (god rest her soul) was like this, but also a hoarder. If it was on sale she bought. There were canned goods from the 80s in her house. And not just a a few, there was a whole second kitchen full of the stuff. She had bbq sauce from 2000 that was still in use in her fridge. When she passed my mom said cleaning out her house was awful. They couldn’t even donate the food because it was too old.
我的祖母（愿她的靈魂安息）也這樣，她還喜歡囤東西。只要有打折她就買。她家里有80年代的罐裝食品。而且不是一兩個，她有整個廚房都裝著這種東西。她有2000年的燒烤醬，今天還在冰箱里用著。她去世之后我媽媽說給她清理房間真的太難受了。他們甚至不能把這些食物都捐出去，因?yàn)樘狭恕?/b>
My mother-in-law always has fresh fruit in her house but hasn’t eaten fresh fruit in twenty years because she insists on eating the spoiled fruit so it doesn’t go to waste.
我的岳母在自己的房子里總是會存一些新鮮水果，但她已經(jīng)有20年沒吃過新鮮水果了，她堅(jiān)持要吃快爛了的水果，好杜絕浪費(fèi)。
My grandma replaced all cooking oils with coconut oil. Olive oil, vegetable oil, butter, all of it was replaced with coconut oil. You know what tastes disgusting cooked in coconut oil? Omelets.
我的祖母把所有烹飪用油都換成了椰子油。橄欖油，植物油，黃油，全都換成了椰子油。你知道什么用椰子油做最難吃嗎？雞蛋餅。
Might as well just cook that bitch with no oils, damn. Or have a piece of bacon in that bitch beforehand.
你甚至不用油也可以烹飪煎蛋餅的啊，天哪?；蛘呒逯巴锩娣艂€培根。
Her exact response to that would have been "but coconut oil is so much healthier than bacon fat"
她對于你這個問題的精準(zhǔn)回答就是“但是椰子油比培根里的脂肪要健康多了”
她確實(shí)不是個好廚師。
Coconut oil is legit when popping popcorn though. Still advise not to skip the butter though when it’s done. Movie theater tier shit.
椰子油拿來做爆米花倒是沒問題。但我仍然建議你不要不加黃油。電影院級別的好東西。
See now thats an acceptable use for coconut oil.
看見沒有，這才是椰子油的正確用法。
Although that’s ok, peanut oil ROCKS for popcorn.
雖然沒問題，但花生油做爆米花也非常棒。
My mother in law uses coconut oil for EVERYTHING now from cooking oils to lotion. My dog had something in her eye so she put coconut oil in it. One vet trip and some antibiotics later, the eye infection my dog developed went away and we got much better at saying no to coconut oil.
我的岳母無論什么都要用椰子油，從烹飪用油到護(hù)膚用品。我家的狗眼睛里長了東西，她甚至都要往它眼睛里滴椰子油。去看了趟獸醫(yī)，開了點(diǎn)抗生素，狗子眼睛里的感染好了，我們拒絕椰子油也更有底氣了。
Omfg. I woke up one morning with an absolutely legendary hangover at my best friend’s place. He suggested some scrambled eggs would fix me right up. However, he cooked them in coconut oil without telling me and then doused them in sriracha. I took one bite and immediately ran to the bathroom where I barfed my guts out. It’s been damn near 15 years and I still can’t get the taste of those eggs out of my mouth.
我的天哪。我在經(jīng)歷了最嚴(yán)重的宿醉之后在我最好的朋友的家里醒了過來。他說吃點(diǎn)炒雞蛋能讓我立刻好起來。然而他沒告訴我他是用椰子油炒的雞蛋，并且往里倒了是拉差醬。我剛咬了一口，就立刻跑到了洗手間把我的腸子都吐了出來。已經(jīng)過了將近15年，我仍然沒辦法把那股雞蛋的味道從我的嘴巴里趕出去。
I have gone on a trip with my MIL who wanted to be in charge of cooking. She made scrambled eggs literally swimming in coconut oil 10 days in a row for breakfast, with half a slice of toast. She was offended on day 5 when I was nauseous all day and went to bed early. It took me a couple years to eat eggs again.
我曾經(jīng)和岳母旅行過，她說她想要負(fù)責(zé)烹飪。她連著十天把雞蛋泡進(jìn)椰子油里慢燉當(dāng)早餐，只配半片面包。第五天我惡心了一天提前上床的時候她還不太高興。我過了好幾年才敢吃雞蛋。
Oh god oh god WHY??? Coconut oil contains some of the highest concentrations of saturated fats!
哦天哪哦天哪為什么？？？椰子油里的某些飽和脂肪是含量最高的！
Its okay for some things in the kitchen, one person mentioned its good for popping popcorn, and its also used in some curries. What its not good for is a general replacement for cooking oil.
椰子油拿來在廚房做某些東西確實(shí)沒問題。有個人提到了拿來爆爆米花不錯，用在做一些咖喱料理上也沒問題。問題在于它不適合替代烹飪用油。
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以及椰子油確實(shí)對皮膚有好處。
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It is also really delicious in a lot of baked goods! It adds an extra level to cookies in terms of flavor.
放到烘焙料理中也非常好吃！可以給曲奇餅干額外增加一道風(fēng)味。
Her normal cooking sounds like my mom's... Finally confronted her about it and she follows recipes, just doesn't put any of the spices they call for in it, and only puts half the onion they call for.
她正常的烹飪就和我媽差不多……最終當(dāng)面質(zhì)問了她，結(jié)果她雖然是照著配方做的，但配方里要求她放的香料她一樣都沒放，并且只放了配方要求的一半洋蔥。
我說媽啊
Finally confronted her about it and she follows recipes, just doesn't put any of the spices they call for in it...
引用：“最終當(dāng)面質(zhì)問了她，結(jié)果她雖然是照著配方做的，但配方里要求她放的香料她一樣都沒放……”
換句話說，她就沒照著配方做。
It’s like half the online recipe reviews.
網(wǎng)上那些食譜的評論有一半都像你媽媽似的。
我沒有青檸，所以我用了橙子，我的家人不喝牛奶，所以我用了杏仁露。食譜里寫的是350攝氏度烤15分鐘，我覺得不夠長所以500攝氏度烤了30分鐘。這個食譜太差勁了，脆皮都焦了，餡料嘗起來有股奇怪的混著堅(jiān)果的橙子味，和我從咖啡廳買的青檸派味道一點(diǎn)都不一樣。滿分五分只能給一分。
When we were kids, we were staying overnight at a family friend's house, and their sons made waffles. But, they used CUPS of salt instead of teaspoons...
我們還小的時候，在家人的朋友家過了一夜，他們家的幾個兒子做了華夫餅。但他們放鹽不是用湯匙，用的是茶杯……
我和姐妹先拿到了華夫餅，開始艱難地往下咽，直到那幫孩子的媽媽嘗了一口。她簡直被嚇到了，我們竟然一句話沒說一直在吃這種東西！
It was a jello mold with a full salad in the mold. Lettuce, tomato, olives, onions, etc. Grandmother made it. We all were forced to eat it. It is still one of the most disgusting things I have ever had to eat.
我吃過的是一個里面裹著一整道沙拉的果凍。生菜，西紅柿，橄欖，洋蔥，等等。祖母做的。我們都被她逼著吃了。仍然是我這輩子吃過的最難吃的東西。
There was a fad back in the 60s and 70s where it seemed like every other recipe was in a jello mold.
60,70年代的時候流行過一陣把任何菜譜都做成凍的風(fēng)潮。
Yes there was. I'm here to testify that, as a kid, every family gathering there would be 4 or 5 jello molds with who knows what embedded in them. If you didn't try some of Aunt Betty's Tuna/Centipede/Marshmallow jello mold, there was hell to pay when you got home.
沒錯確實(shí)如此，我可以作證。我還是孩子的時候，每次家庭聚會上都會有四五個不知道里面包了什么的凍。假如你沒嘗一口貝蒂阿姨的金槍魚/蜈蚣/棉花糖凍，你回到家里就要挨罵了。
I hate it when people insist you're gonna be fine, or they think you're just exaggerating. When I was a kid, I was in hospital recovering from surgery. I'd had appendicitis and the bloody thing ruptured inside me. So they quickly got it out, but I had a tube in me to drain away all the infected gunk and I was on meds and a liquid drip. Needless to say, I wasn't feeling very well. I did not have an appetite at all. I had the drip, so I wasn't going to dehydrate, but the thought of eating anything made me feel nauseous. My mum was gently nudging me to eat plain toast, I took small bites but I couldn't handle much more. This one nurse obviously thought I was exaggerating and kept pressuring me to eat cereal. My mum wasn't happy, saying if they forced me to eat cereal now I was definitely gonna throw it up. But the nurse kept insisting. So I took 4 four spoonfuls of Coco Pops and the inevitable happened. Projectile vomited all over my hospital bed. It was vile. Of course as I got better I regained some appetite, but I was put off cereal for a while afterwards haha.
我很討厭人們覺得你沒事，或者覺得你在夸大自己痛苦的樣子。我還小的時候，曾經(jīng)在做完手術(shù)之后住過醫(yī)院。我得了闌尾炎，那東西在我的體內(nèi)爛開了。于是他們把那東西弄出去了，但在我身上插了根管子把感染的臟東西都吸走，所以我得一邊吃藥一邊打點(diǎn)滴。我感覺很不好，我完全沒有任何食欲。我在打點(diǎn)滴，所以不至于脫水，但是哪怕想象一下自己吃東西的樣子都會讓我覺得惡心。我媽媽在溫和地勸我吃點(diǎn)吐司，我咬了幾小口但實(shí)在吃不下去了。有個護(hù)士覺得我都是裝的，一直讓我吃麥片。我媽很不高興，說假如他們讓我把麥片吃下去，我是一定會全吐出來的。但護(hù)士仍然堅(jiān)持這么做。所以我喝了4勺麥片，不可避免的事發(fā)生了。吐了一床。很惡心。當(dāng)然我康復(fù)之后食欲好了很多，但此后有很長一段時間我都沒再吃過麥片了，哈哈。
Natto. I've eaten a lot of questionable things in the name of being open minded or polite, but natto is one food that I can't hold down. Even to be polite. Lord help me, but I valiantly tried. The consistency of stringy, gooey mucus. It looks almost alien.
納豆。我為了給別人面子、保持禮貌，吃過很多可疑的東西，但納豆是唯一一個我實(shí)在忍不了的。就算是為了禮貌。天哪，我真的勇敢地嘗試過。那種拉絲兒的，黏糊糊的痰一樣的東西?？雌饋砗喼笔峭庑钱a(chǎn)物。
我在自己的工作崗位上也見過各種各樣的惡心東西。比如各種體液。我的胃堅(jiān)如鋼鐵，只要你別給我納豆吃。
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I'm half japanese and my whole family loves natto. I hate everything about it. The smell, the look, the taste, everything. The fucking god damn mucus strings.
我有一半日裔血統(tǒng)，我們?nèi)叶枷矚g吃納豆。但是我痛恨納豆的一切。氣味，外觀，口感，一切。拉絲的黏液。
我真的搞不懂納豆有什么吸引人的，但我的家人都覺得我瘋了。
I tried it out of morbid curiosity when i was in japan. I thought itd be revolting. Honestly i didn't mind it. Not my favourite thing, but yeah, ok. I had my daughter accidentally vomit breastmilk in my mouth as a baby. Dont hold a full baby over your head for an aeroplane ride. Dont. Now THAT was disgusting.
我在日本的時候出于好奇嘗了嘗。我以為會很沖。但說實(shí)話我并沒覺得有多難吃。算不上是我最喜歡吃的東西，但還行。我女兒還是嬰兒的時候，曾經(jīng)往我的嘴里吐過母乳。別在坐飛機(jī)的時候把你的寶貝舉到頭頂。千萬別。這才算惡心。
I lived in Japan for three years, ostensibly teaching English at two junior high schools. These schools didn't have natto on the menu that often, so I only had it like five or six times. The flavor isn't my favorite, but the texture was what did me in every time - soooo slimy. Once I pulled some beans away from my cup to try to break the strands of slime. I stretched my arm as far as I could, and then a breeze from the open window caught the slime strands and blew them into my hair.
我在日本住了三年，差不多是在兩個初中教英語。這些學(xué)校的菜單上并不經(jīng)常賣納豆，所以我只吃過五六次的樣子。我不喜歡味道，但質(zhì)感是讓我最難受的——太黏滑了。我有一次從碗里把豆子夾起來，想要看看拉絲會不會斷。我把胳膊伸到了最遠(yuǎn)。然后窗戶吹過來一股風(fēng)把拉絲吹到了我的頭發(fā)上。
每次我嘗試吃納豆的時候我都說不出話來，但我每次都在嘗試。最后一次嘗試的時候是我離開日本的幾個月前。我沒把那一小包醬汁倒進(jìn)去，我懷疑醬汁會讓納豆更黏。我決定把一整碗的發(fā)酵豆子都吃掉，并且我做到了。這是我最為偉大的勝利。
納豆是非常標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的“看看外國人會有什么反應(yīng)”的食物，所以假如你在日本待一段時間，和當(dāng)?shù)厝私涣伺笥?，你很有可能會被他們請過去吃這東西。假如有人告訴你你不喜歡這個東西會很怪的話千萬別信，真的，有很多日本人也不喜歡。
Guy I worked with gave me an italian sub he brought back from his house while on break. I told him I was okay but insisted. From the first bite I could tell something was weird about it but I kept taking small bites to be polite. Eventually the dude tells me that his mom used to work at the gas station next door and that she'd take the subs about to expire and put them in the freezer.
我有個同事休息的時候從他家給我?guī)Я艘粋€三明治。我說我不餓，但他堅(jiān)持讓我吃。咬下去的第一口我就覺得哪里不太對勁，但我為了保持禮貌，只好一小口一小口地咬。最后那哥們告訴我，他媽媽以前在隔壁的加油站工作，她會把加油站里快要過期的三明治拿出來放到自己家的冰箱里。
這個三明治已經(jīng)五歲了。
That guy tried to kill you...
你那同事想要?dú)⒘四恪?/b>
For sure attempted murder.
肯定是謀殺。
Did you get sick?
你生病了嗎？
As soon as he told me I ran to the bathroom and puked.
他跟我說完之后我就跑到廁所里吐了。
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Good call. Probably saved your own life.
做得好。很可能救了你自己的命。
i once ate pasta that had olives in it. i didn't realize that i was supposed to spit out the pits so i just swallowed them. i thought i was being polite.
我曾經(jīng)吃過上面有橄欖的意大利面。我不知道得把橄欖的核吐出來，就連著核吞進(jìn)去了。我以為自己很禮貌。
"I love olives in pasta! What's wrong with-... oh, not PIECES of olives, you mean whole... oh dear. I bet your next visit to the toilet was an unpleasant one."- my thought process.
“意大利面放點(diǎn)橄欖多好?。》劈c(diǎn)橄欖怎么……哦，不是切成塊的橄欖，你說的是整個……我滴媽耶。你下次去洗手間的時候肯定不會太好受?！薄业乃季S過程
I was once served fish that was cooked with the scales still on it. The host left the room and I started chowing down. Awful awful awful. Scales stuck in my throat for the rest of the day. I thought that was how I was intended to eat it because I had never seen that before.
我曾經(jīng)吃過一條帶著鱗烹飪的魚。主人離開了房間，我開始嚼。難頂難頂難頂。此后一天我的嗓子眼里都扎著魚鱗。我以為那道菜就應(yīng)該是那么吃的，因?yàn)槲覐膩頉]見過。
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然后主人回到屋里，坐下來，立刻把鱗片刮下來，像一個正常人類那樣把魚吃掉了。
假如這都不能讓你覺得自己像個智障的話，我不知道還有什么做得到了。
I once told one of my friends mums that I really, really liked pasta.
我有一次跟我朋友的媽媽說我特別，特別喜歡吃意面。
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是吧，誰不喜歡呢？
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然而，后來有一次我去朋友家做客的時候，她一口氣給我做了二十斤的意面。我盡力了……我真的盡力了……這個讓我吃到吐的量直到今天我還記得。而且，盡管我英勇地嘗試了，她還是因?yàn)槲依速M(fèi)了她的食物而感到生氣。
但這真的是一整個排的成年人一個月的飯量啊
My parents do something similar to this and it's so funny. If they realise you like something, they will overstock on it constantly like its your favorite food.
我的父母也會做這種事情，挺有趣的。假如他們發(fā)現(xiàn)你喜歡什么東西，他們就會經(jīng)常買一大堆，好像那是你最喜歡的食物一樣。
我青少年時嘗過西班牙香腸，覺得挺好吃。此后好幾年我的父母都會保證每周買點(diǎn)西班牙香腸給我，盡管我過了幾個月就基本沒再吃過了。我住在國外，每次回家的時候我媽媽都會開心地跟我說“我給你買了點(diǎn)西班牙香腸，在冰箱里！”
我兄弟有一次吃飯嘗了只大蝦，覺得挺好吃，于是此后的兩年里冰箱總是塞著很多包大蝦，父母變著花樣地給他做……
沒有抱怨的意思，有的時候爹媽為了哄崽兒高興做出來的事情真的挺有趣的哈哈
The first time I met my wife's grandparents they shoved a plate of Savoury Duck at me and stared at me until I had gagged the entire lot down, then brought me more.
我第一次和老婆的祖父母見面的時候，他們盛了一盤子口味鴨端給我，盯著我把一整盤子都吃干凈，然后又給我端了一盤子。
事情是這樣的——在英格蘭北部，“口味鴨”和鴨子沒有任何關(guān)系：“傳統(tǒng)做法是將面包屑，豬心，豬肝和五花肉或者培根攪在一起，再加點(diǎn)香草提味，然后將混合物用手捏成球，用豬網(wǎng)油裹起來烤”。做法本身就夠惡心的了，他們還沒做熟，并且泡在稀湯寡水的醬汁里。我沒感染蛔蟲真的是萬幸。
再也沒在他們那兒吃過飯。
I've choked some questionable things when my kids were small and loved "tea parties". The only one I actually spit out was coffee with lemon juice.
我在我家孩子還小，喜歡開“茶會”的時候，曾經(jīng)被一些很可疑的東西嗆到過。唯一一種我真的吐出去過的東西是放了檸檬汁的咖啡。
My wife regularly drinks coffee with lemon juice.
我老婆經(jīng)常喝放了檸檬汁的咖啡。
還有薄荷茶。她把茶煮好，然后往里面放檸檬汁和速溶咖啡。
不能再惡心
my boyfriend's grandmother kept putting food on my plate during CNY this year - and she gave me some.... sea cucumber with some 'hair' balls (not HAIRY balls) but the texture of the sea cucumber was so... gelatinous and super slimy. and idk if yall know how it looks but it does NOT look appetizing at ALL (kinda resembles a spiky slug)
今年春節(jié)的時候，我男朋友的祖母一個勁地往我的盤子里夾菜——而且她還給我夾了一點(diǎn)……海參，還有“頭發(fā)”球（不是毛茸茸的球），但海參的口感真的是……又彈又黏。我不知道你們見沒見過，那玩意兒看起來一點(diǎn)也不好吃（有點(diǎn)像身上長了刺的鼻涕蟲）
當(dāng)然——我把她給我的全都吃了，這樣我就不會太冒犯，但誰想得到她又給了我一份……
編輯：我不知道那東西很貴，所以現(xiàn)在我很慶幸把每一份都吃了。
It's an acquired taste, but sea cucumber is expensive stuff. And the stuff that looks like hair is actually a moss (fat choy), which is also really expensive stuff.
海參的味道需要適應(yīng)，但海參很貴。并且那個長得像頭發(fā)一樣的東西其實(shí)是一種藻類（發(fā)菜），也是非常昂貴的。
奶奶很喜歡你哦。
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!!!
thank you for educating me on this! it was my first time having something like that
謝謝你告訴我這些！我還是第一次吃那種東西
A cork coaster that I mistook for a wafer. I even put toppings on it, like a taco or something.
我把軟木杯墊當(dāng)成華夫餅吃掉了。我甚至往上澆了澆頭，像塔可一樣。
我真的不是出于禮貌而吃的。我把那玩意兒吃了是為了避免留下證據(jù)，讓后人發(fā)現(xiàn)有人真的吃了一口軟木杯墊。
編輯：好吧，可能說一下前因后果更好。是公司的商務(wù)午餐和培訓(xùn)研討會，在酒店的一個舞廳舉辦的。主辦方提供了食物……是自助餐，墨西哥風(fēng)格。我不太餓，但還是跟其他人一起拿了。坐在我對面的是公司的首席財(cái)務(wù)官。他在給同席的其他人講一個故事，但詭異的是他沒有看別人，一直盯著坐在他對面的我看。
我漫不經(jīng)心地咬了一口我自己做的“自制午餐”。餐桌上有放了澆頭的華夫餅，我以為那是小薄脆餅干之類的東西。咬了一口之后我發(fā)現(xiàn)絕對有哪里不對勁。我嘗試著在不吸引他們注意力的情況下低頭看了一眼自己究竟他媽在嚼什么。然后我發(fā)現(xiàn)了錯誤……我在嚼一個軟木咖啡杯墊。
所以沒錯，我把它吃了。我的唯一想法就是假如在桌子上留下個咬了一半的杯墊，只會讓其他人意識到我有多愚蠢。
You know why he was staring at only you right..? He totally knew you were eating a coaster.
你知道他為什么只盯著你看對吧……？他早就知道你在吃杯墊兒。
I wish I could be a fly on the wall there, just to see the CFOs reaction of seeing someone eat an entire fucking coaster
我真希望我能變成那個房間里墻上的一只蒼蠅，就為了看看首席財(cái)務(wù)官看見有人把他媽一整個杯墊吃進(jìn)肚子里之后臉上的表情。
Hey at least you got some quality fiber
嘿至少你吃了點(diǎn)高質(zhì)量的膳食纖維
None of it was terrible but one year my husband and I accidentally accepted three invitations for Thanksgiving dinner.
倒沒有什么可怕的經(jīng)歷，但有一年我和丈夫不小心接受了三場感恩節(jié)大餐的邀請。
第一場是午餐，我們吃了一頓真真正正的感恩節(jié)大餐——烤火雞，土豆，派。我們吃得飽飽的走了，往當(dāng)天的第二場社交活動出發(fā)——我丈夫以為第二頓就是在他的船員家里喝點(diǎn)啤酒看一場足球比賽就完事兒了。
我們下午4:00左右到了他們家，顯然他的雇員們的女朋友們又做了一整頓感恩節(jié)大餐。
我說明一下。我們是海軍成員，駐扎在海外。他們的女朋友都是西班牙人，為了給他們的男朋友和男朋友的老板留下深刻的印象，她們很用心地做了一頓飯。
于是我們又吃了一頓感恩節(jié)大餐。在吃了一整頓飯，看了一場足球賽之后，我們前去應(yīng)當(dāng)天的第三場邀約——我以為也就是在朋友家里喝點(diǎn)咖啡吃點(diǎn)派什么的。
不，遠(yuǎn)不止咖啡和派。晚上八點(diǎn)半，他們也做了一頓感恩節(jié)大餐。我們的朋友為我們安排了非常棒的正式晚宴，他們給我們準(zhǔn)備好座位，給我們上餐前酒，開胃菜，四道菜的正餐什么的。
我們晚上11點(diǎn)到家后，我覺得我的胃要炸了。我得仰面躺著睡，不然我的胃會痛。我們發(fā)誓以后永遠(yuǎn)不會在咨詢別的邀約之前接受邀約了。
I was dating this girl in '06 for a few months before I met her extended family. I'm sitting at the table getting to know everyone and her dad, uncles and brother tell me if Nonna gives me something it would be considered rude not to eat it. Well fuck me I ate several bowls of pasta, veggies, meats, fruits, etc. I have never been more full in my life but desert is enroute and that's when it happened. Her grandmother puts a mammoth piece of lemon meringue pie down in front of me which I fucking in loath. Ate that bad boy with a smile on my face. I ended up marrying that girl 7 years later and now we have two kids. Sadly her grandmother passed from Covid last year. She was the most caring person I've ever met in my life and will miss her incredibly. She gave me her secret recipes to safeguard about 4 month before she died.
我2006年跟某個女孩約過幾個月，然后去見了她的家人。我坐在餐桌上認(rèn)識每個人，然后她的父親、叔叔和兄弟告訴我說假如奶奶給我東西吃，我不吃的話會很不禮貌。好吧他奶奶的我吃了好幾碗意大利面，蔬菜，肉，水果，等等。我這輩子都沒吃過這么撐，但接下來還有甜點(diǎn)。她的奶奶把一塊大得嚇人的檸檬派放到我面前，我都要哭了。面帶微笑把那玩意兒全吃了。悲哀的是她的祖母去年因?yàn)樾鹿谑攀懒?。她是我這輩子認(rèn)識過的最關(guān)心別人的人，我會懷念她的。她在去世之前4個月把她的秘密配方交給了我，讓我保存下去。
My boyfriend's late grandma, may she rest in peace, used to make the world's worst brownies. Because brownies are my boyfriend's favorite, she would always make us a big batch at Christmas and they were just terrible. Rock hard, minimal flavor, crumbled all over the place, just bad. But we had to eat them to be polite, every year.
我男朋友去世的祖母，希望她安息，她做過世界上最難吃的布朗尼。因?yàn)槲夷信笥严矚g吃布朗尼。她就每年圣誕節(jié)都給我們做一大包布朗尼，吃起來真的難吃。硬的一逼，什么味兒也沒有，到處都是渣，屬實(shí)不行。但我們?yōu)榱硕Y貌就得硬吃，每年都吃。
a lotta wasabi
一大口芥末
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我以為是鱷梨醬
Fun fact: supposedly it’s next to impossible to get real wasabi in the states. What is sold as wasabi there is actually just horse radish with food coloring.
有趣的事實(shí)：在美國國內(nèi)想要吃到真正的山葵難如登天。當(dāng)山葵賣的其實(shí)是放了色素的辣根。
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It's not so much that you can't get the real stuff, just that it's expensive, and horseradish is cheap by comparison. There is at least one sushi spot in my city (Phoenix) that has the real stuff regularly, but they don't send it out automatically, they ask you if you want it when your food is delivered.
也不至于完全吃不到真的山葵，只不過確實(shí)很貴，而辣根相比之下很便宜。在我的城市（鳳凰城）這邊至少有一家壽司店會按期上真的山葵，但他們不會主動給你上，他們會在上菜之后問你要不要。
it's also very labor-intensive. When my house mate decided to experiment with sushi making at home, he bought the real deal wasabi root and a shark skin grater. He was grinding that root for damn near an hour and only produced a dollop of wasabi paste that the other house mates and I finished off in just a couple pieces of sushi. hahaha he was so mad. He went back to just buying a tube lol.
并且種植山葵也是非常勞動密集的產(chǎn)業(yè)。我的舍友決定在家試著做壽司的時候，他買了真正的山葵根和一個鯊魚皮的研磨器。他用那個研磨器磨了將近一個小時的山葵，只磨出了一小團(tuán)，我跟其他舍友就了幾個壽司就吃沒了。哈哈哈把他給氣炸了。他后來就干脆買了一管辣根。
The real stuff really is good. It's far more lively than the paste without being overwhelming. Where I've had it, they bring the root out to the table and grate it for you.
真正的山葵是真的好吃。比起那些裝在管里的，味道要更新鮮，并且不會沖鼻子。我吃的地方他們會把山葵根拿到餐桌上現(xiàn)場給你磨。
You can its just VERY expensive.
你可以吃到，只是非常貴。
據(jù)我所知在俄勒岡州有個地方（或許是華盛頓）能種山葵。
真正的山葵根只有在背陰處的山溪涼水中才能生長……
要讓水流過根莖，并且?guī)缀鯖]有直接日照……俄勒岡州正好有這種條件，有新鮮的涼水，經(jīng)常多云，并且有大量山脈地帶。
我在最喜歡的壽司店花了2美元買了一份山葵，假如你喜歡吃壽司的話那么100%值得。
不像辣根或是芥末籽那樣燒你的鼻毛……味道非常精致，比起山葵粉調(diào)出來的“正?！蔽兜?，只有一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)辣味。
I'm surprised I haven't seen fermented tofu (aka "stinky tofu") on this list. It's not the worst food on earth. It's the worst THING on earth. Taking one bite was the darkest moment of my life. My parents are divorced, I've fought in war, I've had awful heartbreaking breakups. Ten seconds of fermented tofu was worse.
這個帖子里竟然還沒有發(fā)酵豆腐（也被稱為“臭豆腐”）實(shí)在讓我驚訝。那不是世界上最差勁的食物。那是世界上最差勁的東西。咬一口都是我這輩子的至暗時刻。我的父母離婚了，我打過仗，我經(jīng)歷過無比令人心碎的分手。吃10秒鐘的臭豆腐比這些都更糟。
我的東道主是臺灣人，和我是好（“好”）朋友。他們開玩笑地點(diǎn)了一份臭豆腐。服務(wù)員指指我，表示拒絕。他們還是要點(diǎn)。服務(wù)員聳了聳肩。那東西聞起來像屎。真的，像盤子上有屎。
我咬了一口就暈過去了。對味蕾的沖擊如此嚴(yán)重，我感覺我的大腦直接挨了一拳。我既不能動，也不能說話，有幾秒鐘全世界都黑暗了下來。桌上沒有任何其他人（全都是臺灣人）碰過那盤臭豆腐。
假如手指甲撓黑板的聲音有味道的話，就是這個味兒了。摳過屁股的手指甲撓黑板。
When I first visited Taiwan, I thought they had open sewers. No, it was just the smell of stinky tofu in the night markets.
我第一次去臺灣的時候，我還以為他們的下水道沒有蓋兒。不，只是夜市里的臭豆腐的味道。
但我喜歡嘗試新東西，所以我嘗了幾口。好難吃！但第二天我就變得特別想吃，現(xiàn)在臭豆腐成為了我懷念臺灣的一個重要理由。食物真的可以很怪。
OK I'm sending this descxtion to some of my Cantonese friends. I lived in Hong Kong and could never get past the smell. It was so rancid I don't know that I ever got all the way to tasting it.
好吧我在把你們的描述發(fā)給我的廣東朋友們。我在香港住，從來都忍不了這個味道。簡直是惡臭，我不知道該怎么下口去咬。
I tried it at a night market in Taiwan. As a German friend of ours said undiplomatically, "It smells like dog shit," but honestly, I thought it tasted better than it smelled.
我在臺灣的夜市嘗過一次。我的德國朋友用不太符合外交禮儀的方式評價了一下，“聞起來像狗屎”，但說真的，我覺得它嘗起來比聞起來要好得多。
Yeah IMO stinky tofu and durian are similar in that they smell way worse than they taste. The stinky tofu I've had smelled pretty offensive but once you were actually eating it it was just like normal fried tofu with a little funk.
沒錯，我認(rèn)為臭豆腐和榴蓮是有點(diǎn)類似的，它們聞起來比真正嘗起來要糟糕得多。我聞過的臭豆腐味道都很沖，但如果你真的吃一口的話，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)那只是普通的炸豆腐，只不過有一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)特別的味道。